Date: 14th May, 2018
Subject: 30yo, non-binary
Event: Firmware Replacement

It’s Day Zero. I’ve been pushing for this day for a while now. The first solid step in my non-binary transition.

Today I start replacing my hormones.

The process of beginning hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in Sydney is confusing. There’s a lot of misinformation, most doctors don’t know how to handle it, and it can be stressful AF without the right help. Unfortunately there is a terrible lack of specialisation of transgender medical matters even in a country like Australia. Thankfully there are some incredible people in the community who held my hand most of the way.

With persistence, a lot of waiting, and multiple appointments it feels good to finally have these in my hands.

Cyproterone, an anti-androgen, negates what little testosterone there is in my body; I’m not producing much as it is, so there’s not a lot to nullify.

Oestradiol, estrogen, is what I’m replacing that testosterone with.

Together they are going to make a few changes, external and internal, that will help me challenge dysphoria, and generally make me feel more comfortable in myself.

And that’s a happy thing.

This isn’t the only thing that has changed over the last year.

My wardrobe has changed, moving more into more androgynous & femme styles. My pronouns have changed (to They/Them). I’ve become far more outspoken on a lot of matters. Hell, I’ve even had my first makeup 101, and it turned out pretty nice.

I don’t know how far things are going to go. There is no ideal, or real end goal. There is only a place that feels right for me. All I know is that I’m going to continue to hack this body and brain of mine until I reach that place.

This is going to be an interesting next few years.