Date: 14th July, 2018 Subject: 30yo, non-binary Event: Flesh-Melding Update
(note: This was supposed to go up yesterday but I was too tired to move. So…. deal with it.)
Two months on HRT and things are starting to ramp up; it feels like my body is under the ministrations of some flesh-melder, slowly tweaking things here and there. I must say that getting to celebrate my 2 month on HRT on International Non-Binary day was pretty darn amazing.
Emotions are mostly under control. Gone, for now, are the deep pits of depression and loneliness that signified the first month or so. I still find myself edging towards tears on a semi-regular basis but it appears to be more of a random emotional release more than set off by circumstance. So either my firmware is adapting to me, or I’m adapting to the firmware.
But when the brain adapts, the flesh changes. And there have definitely been some changes going on here.
Most obvious is that I have squishy cheeks again! Fat from my lower jaw has shifted up, giving me bigger cheeks when I smile. This has been an interesting change as it’s given me a bit more of stern expression when I don’t smile, but a far more cheerful and cute expression when I smile. This will no doubt be useful to indicate to people if they are making me happy or pissing me off.
Secondly: My boobs hurt! A lot. I don’t know if it’s because I started Estrogen at a higher level from the start than many but development in the chest region has gotten serious quickly. Due to being a bit bigger before I started it’s not really obvious, but the fat on the chest is being replaced by much firmer tissue. All this development comes with a low-grade ache, and if I knock them in any way, including reaching across myself, it hurts like a bitch. Might be time to upgrade my crops with some padding.
All in all I’m starting to feel a lot more comfortable in myself. In part for the changes that have occurred, and also due to the increased connection with the trans community over the last few months.
This month’s HRT-iversary cake is a rather nice strawberry gateau.